Normal for me is suffering every time I have to leave your little ashes behind when I go somewhere.
Normal is re-living that day continuously through your eyes and mind.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like he is my baby’s age. And then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is staring at every pregnant woman and baby and fighting back tears and anger, wondering and asking why you had to leave us.
Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".
Normal is each day coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special that my baby would have loved, but how he is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.
Normal is after the first few months is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks and months after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING, will compare. Losing a parent or brother is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural. Do NOT compare!
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know Enzo wouldn't want to see me sad.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because…" I know that my baby is an angel flying high, high above, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why my baby was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is being extremely angry with people who give advice when they have never lost a child. Who are you to give us advice when you haven't felt the tiniest bit of extreme sadness and depression like we have after losing Enzo?!?! GRRR
Normal is wanting to scream out to the world of Enzo's story of love, strength, breavery, and courage. Wanting to shout it out to the winds so they can be blown for all to hear.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
Normal is wanting to tell the whole world that I am Enzo's mommy!!!!!
WE MISS YOU ENZO. WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU DEARLY.