I never thought sleepless nights, broken hearts, endless tears, and shattered smiles would be my life. I didn’t expect baby-loss books to be scattered around my bedroom and Enzo’s ashes to be in my destiny. I wanted, more than anything, Enzo in my arms. His warmth against my chest. His smiles lighting my day. His laughter guiding my life. Instead, all I got are a few pictures that must last me a lifetime and his hospital blanket that must replace his body in my arms.
Why is life so unfair? Why is it so cruel? Why is it that when I‘ve just lost my child, the ignorant society we live in decides to keep on stabbing me? All I ask is for help. For a simple hug. For some understanding. For NO comparing. For not pretending.
Society has been given the privilege to kick me while I’m down. This cold-hearted, evil world has the nerve to bring me more complications, to my already chaotic and depressing life. Not only have we just gone through the death of our child, but we must now worry about society. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t society worry about us? We have just encountered the worst nightmare in our lives and yet we have to try to not cry in public. And try to not be mad, angry, upset, confused, sad… in front of them. Why? Can we at least worry about having just lost our son and the fact that we must grieve in order to not die of sadness… instead of worrying about that other people might think we’re crazy or suicidal?
We lost our children, YES! We are crazy and yes we are suicidal. And yes, we are sad and angry with the world. I don’t ask society to feel my pain, I only ask society to understand and not judge.
I feel pain, I cry pain, I breathe pain. I have pain, and I have lots of it. My heart is in pain from having lost the only thing that has ever mattered to me. The only person whom I have loved so much. He taught me to live, to forgive, to love. He is who I live for and why I’m here. He is why I continue. I love you baby.
Besos al cielo, a la luna y de vuelta.
Mami
Why is life so unfair? Why is it so cruel? Why is it that when I‘ve just lost my child, the ignorant society we live in decides to keep on stabbing me? All I ask is for help. For a simple hug. For some understanding. For NO comparing. For not pretending.
Society has been given the privilege to kick me while I’m down. This cold-hearted, evil world has the nerve to bring me more complications, to my already chaotic and depressing life. Not only have we just gone through the death of our child, but we must now worry about society. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t society worry about us? We have just encountered the worst nightmare in our lives and yet we have to try to not cry in public. And try to not be mad, angry, upset, confused, sad… in front of them. Why? Can we at least worry about having just lost our son and the fact that we must grieve in order to not die of sadness… instead of worrying about that other people might think we’re crazy or suicidal?
We lost our children, YES! We are crazy and yes we are suicidal. And yes, we are sad and angry with the world. I don’t ask society to feel my pain, I only ask society to understand and not judge.
I feel pain, I cry pain, I breathe pain. I have pain, and I have lots of it. My heart is in pain from having lost the only thing that has ever mattered to me. The only person whom I have loved so much. He taught me to live, to forgive, to love. He is who I live for and why I’m here. He is why I continue. I love you baby.
Besos al cielo, a la luna y de vuelta.
Mami